Listening Well Opens Up The Heart

Listening Well Opens Up The Heart

Has this happened in your relationship or marriage? You share on Wednesday during dinner your friends are having a cookout Saturday.  On Saturday morning, you ask your fiancé or husband to pick up chip and dip at the grocery store for the cookout and they say, “What cook out?”

Ok, that is a normal occurrence in most relationships from time to time, but a continual habit of this can bring a small spark up to a forest fire of damage to a relationship.  The Lord gave us two ears and one mouth. When we stop listening, it communicates loudly we have stopped caring. 

Proverbs 18:13 says “to answer before listening is folly and shame”.  And James 1:9 says “be quick to listen, slow to speak”.  Wow, would this not be a great outcome for communicating with love and respect. 

In a recent British study found that dating couples chat for 50 minutes of an hour while sharing a meal together.  Immediately after marriage, this time will drop to 40 minutes per hour. And after 20 years of marriage the average couples talk for about 21 minutes and as the years proceed it becomes less and less. 

Not sure how much cell phones have affected this, but my husband and I have date night and one of our set expectations is no cell phone during our meal. Hey, and I am guilty as anyone (it is usually me) being distracted by dings from my phone sitting in my purse. Now I just leave it in the car or home so I am not tempted. 

I was talking to a sweet girl who I mentor and she shared something that I thought was so valuable that she and her husband do to build stronger communication between them. So, I just had to share in this post hoping that you might want to start implementing this into your marriage for deeper intimacy and better communication too. These Mighty 4 give you quick insight that gets right to the point. I am not sure where she heard about this or I would be giving you the book or reference to these spiritual connection questions. The next time we meet I will be sure to let you know. She shared that after they put their children down for the night, they make it a priority to communicate and talk about one of these questions. Smart couple I would say. 

So here you go….. 

Do I love you well?

Have I hurt you with my words or actions? 

How can I help you set up your day for success tomorrow?

And how did God move or show up in your life this week? 

I mean even if you just go for one of these they carry a powerful outcome of knowing the other’s heart from a whole new perspective. Our one true desire the moment we are born is to be known and be loved. If these questions do not connect with you, maybe sit down together and design your own questions that fit your season of marriage. 

Love is listening! It is that simple and technology is taking a toll on us all with this gift we give when we take time to hear what each other is saying. Give the gift of listening to your spouse, so you will know their heart better. 

Lisa Teichmiller

Lisa Teichmiller

SYMBIS Facilitator, Marriage Mentor, Speaker, Wife, Mom, Life Long Learner and graduate of the School of Greatness – Motto in life “Here to Build and Create Great Outcomes"

Contact Lisa to start your SYMBIS assessment today at

Katherine Forbes